I was arrested.
Nikki's teacher's pet to police station pipeline.
When I was 16, I was arrested.
I grew up as a “gifted kid.” I was in a separate class throughout my entire elementary school experience, primarily interacting with the same 20-ish kids. In middle and high school, almost every one of my classes were honors or AP. I remember feeling a duality of 1. an intense pressure to achieve, and 2. being very, very uncool.
I was pretty reserved, very much a teacher’s pet, and could not fathom the idea of getting any grade less than an A. I would pull all-nighters in grade school, perfecting a project or studying for a test. In my “free time,” I was practicing piano, going to tennis lessons, playing soccer, selling Girl Scout cookies, at field hockey practice, playing violin, going to art classes — everything you could possibly imagine.
And sure, I had friends. But outside of school, between pursuing every hobby known to man and spending a lot of time with my family, there wasn’t much time to hang out.
In high school, I started emerging from my awkward phase — I got my braces off, I got contacts, my cousin taught me how to put on eyeliner. I bought my first Abercrombie and Fitch shirt (life-changing) and stayed up late on AIM or FB messenger talking to friends or boys I had crushes on. My social circle started to expand.
Sophomore year, I drank for the first time. I invited a couple girlfriends over for a sleepover in my basement, and one of their older sisters bought us a handle of Green Apple Smirnoff. We drank the whole thing. We laughed, we gossiped, we talked about our crushes. It was so much fun… until one of my friends passed out and started puking in her sleep, while the rest of us absolutely panicked. (We thought we would have to resort to burying her in the backyard so we wouldn’t get in trouble, but turns out she woke up the next morning a little hungover but completely fine. My parents never found out.)
Naturally after experiencing my first *alcohol*, I started going to parties for the first time. Surprisingly to me, a bunch of the new friends I made, were both fun and had 4.0 GPAs. I was mindblown — you could do both?
I made a bunch of new friends, kissed a boy for the first time, and felt like maybe, I wasn’t so uncool.
One evening that summer, a bunch of upperclassmen were going to a hookah lounge. I had never been to one before and because they were 18+ and I was still 16, I was a little nervous. My curfew was 10PM, and one of my guy friends promised he would get me home by then.
I don’t remember that much about the actual hookah lounge other than I hated smoking. The only time I had ever smoked prior was a single puff of a cigarette at a party and the combination of the taste and the harsh heat on my throat and in my lungs made me want to gag. I hit the hookah pipe and immediately decided I didn’t like it.
It was getting close to my curfew, and I had been begging my friend to leave. Finally, we do. He was bringing another three guys home, and they squeezed in the back together. I had never really tested curfew with my parents yet, so I was really anxious about getting back late. I glared at my friend, “you promised I’d be home by 10.”
So, he’s speeding down the NJ turnpike. The windows are down, the music is blasting. In the back, they’re hitting a joint. I had never smoked weed before and I certainly was not interested in trying to smoke anything else.
And then… sirens. A collective “oh shit.”
My friend pulls over. It happens so fast. He opens the glove compartment and there’s a ziploc of weed in it. He throws it into the back seat where the guys are.
“What are you doing???” one of the guys says. There’s no time. He steps on the bag to cover it with his shoe.
The cop comes over to my friend. “Do you know how fast you were going?” He gets his license and registration.
I’m annoyed. There’s always a panic seeing those flashing lights, but I’m still thinking about my curfew. I need to be home.
Something shifts. The officer is now circling the car with a flashlight. He tells the guy in the back to move his foot…
Next thing I know, I’m in the back of a cop car with one of the other guys. My heart is beating through my chest. We go to a police station and I am handcuffed to a bench in a holding area. I don’t know how long I’m there for. But I know I’m in so much trouble.
From where I’m sitting, there’s a window into the police station, and eventually, my dad appears through the window, staring at me, absolutely livid. His face in that moment has forever been cemented into my brain. At that point, I would’ve rather just gone to jail than go home that night.
The case ended up getting dropped since I was a minor, but for the rest of that summer, I was grounded and my phone was taken away. My partying days had ended just as quickly as they had started. It would be years til I’d try weed for the first time, and many, many more years until I’d actually enjoy it.
The case ended up getting dropped since I was a minor, but there would be times in the future — when applying for college, when getting a background check for work, when getting security clearance as a federal contractor — I’d think about my arrest.
As I’ve gotten older, I think about that night more — how something that felt potentially life-ruining ended up becoming just a story for me. A lesson. A footnote.
And that’s the part that sits heavy with me now: it was only a footnote because of my privilege.
Because while I got to grow up, go to college, get a job… there are people still sitting in jail for years (decades!) over the exact same thing. Over weed. Something you can now buy in a cute little dispensary with neon branding and a rewards program.
It blows my mind. It should blow everyone’s mind.
Sixteen-year-old me got to go home. A lot of people never got that chance — and shouldn’t have lost their future over something that never should’ve taken it in the first place.
In guud company,
Nikki
ALL GUUD THINGS THIS WEEK
❤️ What We’re Grateful For ❤️
Nikki: The vibes in my neighborhood right now! They put the lights up, the Cherry Creek Holiday Market’s about to start, it’s really starting to feel pretty magical. As I’ve been thinking about my lease renewal this week, I’m really grateful for where I live, especially during this time of year.
Lauren: My New York friendships. I lived in New York from ages 22-26 (such a formative time) and made so many beautiful connections. Getting to hang out with those friends this weekend reminded me how meanginful those relationships are. We have such strong bonds and special memories. When I’m with them I feel so much love and gratitude. We get silly and dance around on the streets but also have been through a lot with each other. I love you guys!
💭 What We’re Reminding Ourselves 💭
Lauren: My dad says this often but it’s something I have been reminding myself on this New York trip: be as present as possible. It’s easy for me to feel overwhelmed with all the stuff I want to do and people to see. I’m already anticipating how sad I’m going to be when I leave. Just stay as present as possible. Come back to the present moment and just focus on that.
Nikki: Day one of my period — take the freakin’ rest day. The world will keep spinning.
🏆 What We’re Proud Of 🏆
Nikki: I really wanted nothing more than to be a little hermit this weekend. I’m proud of pushing through and being social and making time for friends!
Lauren: I feel like I’ve been really go with the flow on this trip. Not that I’m usually more rigid or scheduled but I’ve been really rolling with the punches. Appreciating every moment and spending lots of time with myself as well!
❤️🩹 What We’re Struggling With ❤️🩹
Lauren: A good, old-fashioned New York hangover. Worth it.
Nikki: As much as I’m appreciative of my job — I feel challenged day-to-day, I feel good at what I do, and I have financial security again — I’ve been feeling the little nudges of wanting to pursue a passion project again. I don’t really know what that looks like yet and I already have barely any free time as it is, but even just the idea is so exciting to me :)
🎧 What We’re Watching/Listening To 🎧
Nikki: A couple weeks late on this, but obviously obsessed with Olivia Dean.
Lauren: Last night, I snuggled up with my besties Tyler and Sami and watched the first episode of Pluribus (insane). We followed it up with the Glen Powell / Olivia Dean episode of Saturday Night Live (so good).
🧢 What We’re Wearing 🧢
Lauren: Obsessed with these suit up trousers from Alo. I have them in black but now I want them in every color.
Nikki: This Alo sweater!
😍 What We’re Obsessed With 😍
Nikki: My boyfriend’s sister Elise has inspired me to wear lip gloss (groundbreaking). I bought this one during the Sephora sale and I think it’s so fun!
Lauren: I’m obsessed with the New York version of me. She’s really fashionable. She is a little less responsible and more carefree. She sleeps well. She has a huge incredible supportive community of friends who have known her for years and years. She’s bopping AROUND!
✨ What We’re Looking Forward To ✨
Lauren: I’m looking forward to the holidays. I love this time of year and the weather changing and thanksgiving and CHRISTMAS. This is my jam.
Nikki: I’m going back to the east coast at the end of this week! I’m excited for the holidays, spending time with my family, and traveling with both Jeremy and Kona :)
this brought back so many mems!!!